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Don' Be Mad At God (Theodicy Rag)
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Song
Performed by the composer
Lyrics
Sometimes you're feeling lonely, sometimes you're feeling blue
Sometimes the doctor says stuff that kind of troubles you
Like, you've only got a day to live, if you're lucky two or three
So you get down on your hands and knees and say "Dear God, why me?"
You think that God will answer and you'll know just what he said
But you can't tell the voice of God from the voices in your head
So you have you a little tantrum, like you did in junior high
Hey God, if you're gonna pull that crap you oughta tell me why.
But I say don't be mad at God, oh don't be pissed
It ain't that he's mistreating you, it's just he don't exist
and it makes no sense, only makes you tense, to be pounding on his door
so don't go blaming God for your troubles anymore.
Somewhere out there a forest fire burns a baby deer
and there's a pub in Queensland that once ran out of beer
In Africa the pestilence and the pesky tsetse fly
Have got some folks a-saying "hasa diga eebowai."
Augustine says its Adam and Eve, yeah! they're to blame
for holocaust, for famine, for plagues that kill and maim
Cos they angered the great Jehovah when they ate that fruit, you see
and Jehovah he don't care much about proportionality
Irenaeus says that freedom means free to not be nice
And suffering improves my soul though it don't feel so nice
But them poor soul-less animals, burned and gouged and gored
Well, that don't fit the theory so it's back to the drawing board.
Van Inwagen says the poor Lord He was forced to draw a line
you happen to be on the suffering side, nothing personal, so don't you whine
Plantinga say God's reasons are private, not for show
and why the heck should we expect we'd be the first to know?
So, you see, the poor philosophers, they really can't agree
just why the good Lord lets the world see so much misery
three thousand years of thinking and they still ain't got a clue
by now I'd start to worry, and I think that they should too
But listen up believer, trying to get God off the hook
There's a way that's nice and quick, no need to write another book
it's simple, parsimonious, and clearly saves the day
Just get God out of the picture and the problem goes away
But I say don't be mad at God, oh don't be pissed
It ain't that he's mistreating you, it's just he don't exist
and it makes no sense, only makes you tense, to be pounding on his door
so don't go blaming God for your troubles anymore.
